I have bitten my tongue long enough. For weeks, you and your boyfriend have been slamming me and Roger publicly. In all that time, I have bitten my tongue over and over again while trying to remind myself that I am above your kind of childish behavior. But, after what I heard from you last night - and don't bother denying that you didn't want me to hear you, because we both know that's a load of bullshit - I'm not going to bite my tongue again.
You have a lot of fucking nerve making accusations against me, when you have been the one "venting" (as you like to see it) publicly about how much of a bitch I am, how Roger and I don't show you any respect, how fake we are, how we've been backstabbing you, and all the rest of the crap you've been spewing, lately. Last night, you had the audacity to criticize me for giving one child up for adoption because I couldn't take care of him, and then, in your words, "... going on to have three more? Like, really?" Then today, I learned that you're saying I wrote a big blog about how you're a bad parent. Well, enough is enough.
A good parent does not yell and scream at and lecture their children when they make mistakes. I've lost count of how many times you have done this to them.
A good parent works hard to provide a roof over the heads of their children, proper and sufficient food for their children to eat, and clothing that fits their children. When is the last time you did that? And by the way, going to the food bank doesn't count.
A good parent ensures that rent is paid every month - in full, and on time. When is the last time you and your boyfriend paid any rent, hmm? You're so far behind that at this rate, you're never going to see daylight. When you move into your own place, I really don't think your landlord is going to be so accommodating to you when you don't pay for months on end.
A good parent does not punish their children by telling them they are not allowed to even speak to their grandparents, never mind spend time with them, just because that parent has issues with those grandparents. The issues between adults should be dealt with by the adults; a good parent would never use their children as weapons.
A good parent encourages their children. They do not make their children feel like they're nothing special. You can't begin to imagine how heartbreaking it was to hear Tia say, "I want to be someone," when I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up. You don't know how devastating it was to hear her say, "No, I'm not. I'm nothing," when I told her she already was someone special. What kind of parent makes their children feel like they aren't special?
The trouble with you and your boyfriend is that you both are refusing to acknowledge the fact that you live under our roof. Somehow, somewhere along the line, you both developed a sense of entitlement to our home that has made you forget just who it is that has been providing for you. Until recently, when we decided that it was time for you both to start standing on your own two feet and taking resposibility for your family, Roger was putting all of the food on the table, not you; Roger pays for the roof over your heads, not you; Roger pays the utility bills, not you. All of you have lived under our roof for nearly two years. For most of that time, Roger has been supporting you. Your boyfriend doesn't hold down a job for longer than a couple of months - probably because he owes thousands of dollars in child support and he doesn't want to pay it. You haven't worked since last year. The way I see it, neither one of you has the right to bitch about anything. You aren't paying for anything, so therefore, you don't get to complain about what you have.
I could go on, but I'm not going to. There's no point. I've "expressed" my feelings about things - just as you have (and as you are continuing to "express" all over Facebook) - and now I'm done.
You have hurt me very deeply, Karis. I realize you don't care, and that's fine. I'm only saying it because I feel you deserve that from me. I still love you - I am always going to love you. But I think my days of trying to get through to you are done. You are not going to change, you are not going to stop believing the very worst about me. I don't like that, but I will accept it. But the next time your life falls apart as it did with Melinda, don't expect me to open my home to you again. You will be welcome to visit, and if the girls need it, they can stay with us. But until you grow up, until you start recognizing and truly owning your choices - and the harm those choices have caused and are causing even now - you, yourself, will not be allowed to live here again.